I have a lot of time for lawyers and enjoy working with them to develop resilience to the inevitable pressures of their working life, and brushing up on emotional competencies, without which, both work and personal life can suffer.

Drama of the Emotions

The common perception of a lawyer is of a cool, calm and collected person, unperturbed by emotions, and possibly as a cold, calculating person incapable of warmth.  This stereotype is of course nonsense. We all have emotions, but relate to them in different ways.

It is true that those who are drawn to the law, and effective in such a career, need the ability to handle emotion in a way that enables them to think clearly, and view cases in a logical, strategic manner. Not everyone has the natural flair or capability to develop these cognitive skills to the required degree. Indeed such traits might be considered undesirable by people more concerned with their emotions than their thinking world.

An intriguing Psychosynthesis exercise reveals whether a person’s identity is predominantly constructed around emotions or thoughts.  ‘Emotionally identified’ people feel misaligned with their nature when attempting to put aside colourful emotional swings, and will struggle to maintain objectivity.  Whereas those ‘mentally identified’, feel their thoughts are more closely aligned with reality, considering emotions as an ephemeral, unreliable source of information about the world.

This difference in sense of identity, based primarily on emotion or cerebral life, occurs across the spectrum, and is not confined to the occupation of law. Emotional processing is no better or worse than the cognitive activity of those who prize reflective thinking more. We all have both in varying proportions, so it is wise to learn to value, balance, or synthesise these two primary ways of filtering information, and experiencing the world.

The court-room has drama, but is different to that of the entertainment industry.  The courtroom can be entertaining (thus the popularity of programmes such as ‘Judge Judy’), but is a different scenario to that of the theatre.  An actor is required to create and convey real emotion at times, in order to portray a character convincingly enough to fully engage the viewer.  Conversely, a lawyer needs the ability to control and detach from emotion enough to portray a rational calm and collected persona in court. Not an easy task since we are all human.

Subpersonalities

So what’s the problem you might ask?  Well, just as actors can have difficulty shedding the role they‘ve been dramatizing for months, so a lawyer, who is also playing a role at work, may have trouble taking their lawyer’s hat off, robbing them of the emotions which bring colour and vibrancy to their personal life.  In both careers, people need a way of coming home to themselves.

The self is more than one personality trait.  We all embody different aspects of self and from childhood develop the ones that get us what we need to bring success in some way.  Other aspects are left behind, especially if they made us feel vulnerable. These rejected parts of our nature can cause trouble, but if developed and refined, they contribute desirable qualities and strengthen the personality. To feel whole, it is necessary to re-integrate ignored aspects of self.

Problems with the Cerebral Way

The following is not verbatim, but in essence what the lawyer (F.L.) told me in a discussion on the psychological makeup of the legal mind:

“Lawyers develop a way of looking at things. You can’t help it. Being a lawyer reinforces certain ways of behaviour. The law attracts people who are inclined to be more cerebral and don’t respond well to other people emotionally – or it reinforces that.  You can have a very successful career in law, whilst being quite incompetent dealing with people.  I used to know a really nice guy, but he looked at everything as a legal problem.  He was a contract lawyer and the first thing he would say at a negotiation meeting was ‘this agreement is fundamentally flawed’.  That was his catchphrase really. He would look at something and tear it to shreds. And sometimes in negotiations, it might be the right thing to do.  But sometimes people were very upset or offended, because often, although you could pick holes in things, it wasn’t fundamental.  He just couldn’t grasp that people didn’t take it in the same objective way that he did.  Because you could have said the same thing to him, and he would have been fine.”

Stress and Adrenaline

Those drawn to law as a profession may enjoy what most of us would consider too much stress.   Litigators, for example, like the pressure and demands of the court-room situation. F.L. again: “If you enjoy litigation – the thrill of the chase, when that is switched off, and you have a time of relative calm, you can feel quite low or indulge in risky behaviours to fill the void.”

We all know someone who is wonderful under pressure, but can feel low when there is no fire-fighting to be done.  Instead of relaxing and recovering from a fast-paced episode, one can get ‘addicted’ to adrenaline and feel depressed or empty when the crisis is over. Risky behaviours are one way to get the adrenaline high again.  However, it is possible to recover from the adrenaline-fuelled way of life, without becoming a couch potato!

Another occupational hazard is motivational levels of stress turning into chronic dis-tress through a less than ideal working environment. Not many lawyers enjoy going out to bring in clients, but their position in the firm may depend upon it.  You can do the best job in the world but it doesn’t necessarily bring in clients.

There can be a culture, where being seen to be struggling with any adversity, hidden or otherwise, and taking care of one’s wellbeing can be perceived as weakness.  Given such a culture, fear of losing credibility with colleagues and clients is ever-present.

The adversarial culture of the legal profession is more pronounced in some areas of the law than others. A requirement to deal with particularly confrontational, difficult situations and difficult people, can cause generalized irritability and anxiety. Lawyers point to a culture in, some areas, of a dog-eat-dog mentality, and law firms with such a strong profit motive that they lack certain human values.  The pressure to make money, can feel more of a business than a profession involved with the rule of law.  Resulting hurt, disappointment and anger can turn to volatility, depression or anxiety.  The cause of integrity, fairness and justice, ideals which drew them into the profession in the first place are transgressed, and consequently distress in its many forms follows.

Sometimes a lawyer chooses to switch to a less adversarial niche in the law, but it is not always easy to change horses in midstream, especially if it means losing hard-won status and financial reward in the process.

Perfectionism

Perfectionism (which I speak of in more depth elsewhere), is a trait not confined to, but common in lawyers, which can lead to stress and anxiety. It can start as an apparently good thing – dedication to work. And it is true that someone with a tendency to workaholism will likely be a determined and disciplined person. So one may not always see any problem there.  However, spending all their hours working can lead to poor personal and social life, and be counter-productive because an overtaxed brain yields poor results. Procrastination, for fear of mistakes, leads to work piling up. Add to this, agitated clients, because they’re taking too long over things, and there you have a recipe for a feeling of failure and self-criticism.

*’Life in the Law’ The culture & practice of law” a discussion with Nick Bloy & Professor Richard Collier:

     “… and of course they are going to make mistakes because they’re a human being, But to follow that up with harsh self-criticism only compounds matters and compounds mental health issues……..So we see higher levels of anxiety, depression, self-harm, alcohol abuse & the rest of the addictive behaviours that we know are higher in the legal profession compared to other professions. You see this a lot in academia as well – insecure over-achievers; imposter syndrome; constant worry, especially in those just starting out.  It was suggested that large corporate law firms actually try and select people who are driven by this need to exceed expectations and if you’re coming in from the educational system that’s marked by intense competition, then people are already coming in with that….”

Coaching

Where does a coach come in? Personally, I guide lawyers in developing emotionally and psychologically healthy ways of working. And this does not mean abandoning thoughtful, reflective inner life.

In the 1960s’, with the advent of ‘humanistic’ approaches to therapy, there was a perception that the British culture was still trussed up with Victorian values and an unhealthy repression of natural feelings.  Thus,  since then, several personal development approaches have considered deliberately stimulating or vehemently venting emotional excitement, as the solution to healthy relationships and mental health.  It is not surprising therefore that those who value reflective thought and moderation of emotion, hear about this in the media and avoid it at all costs..

While it may be cathartic in the short-term to bring repressed feelings to the surface, it is quite wrong to approach every problem in this way, and it is not a long-term solution for personal well-being.  In a culture with increasing problems borne of over-stimulation, it’s important not to place emotional excitation as the only way of restoring mental health, communicating or empathising with others.

Dealing with stress does not necessarily mean aiming for calm.  A good outcome can mean being less distracted and more focussed or motivated. One such client became aware that stress was causing him to be fidgety and anxious, spending too long at work whilst being less productive.

Given the demands and pressures of work, anyone in legal practice is dealing with a range of emotions, in themselves their clients and colleagues.  Failing to realise this can contribute to psychological issues such as burnout, or ptsd caused by vicarious trauma from clients’ harrowing experiences.

What I bring to my clients, are ways to reflect on a healthy approach their practice.  Guidance in understanding and handling responses to emotion, both their own and other people’s, avoids negative stress and burnout

Trying to ignore emotional stress is not an effective strategy, as it will eventually impact on performance at work, personal wellbeing and those around them, but neither does addressing stress mean turning themselves inside out to reveal their inner souls! To do the best for their clients or their firms, lawyers need to put their own interests first. Understanding the role of stress and learning emotional competences will build inner strength and resilience and actually put them at an advantage.

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The client became anxious during the course of their profession as a lawyer.  We met via instant messaging:

‘I would like to say thank you for all you did for me, in helping me realise that I should feel valued as a person both at work and outside of work, and generally helping me put things in perspective when they felt overwhelming. Please feel free to quote me on your website, if I can help encourage people to come to you for help, in the way you have helped me, that’s great.’ JS Lawyer